


Trying Not to Love You

by reigningqueenofwords



Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-07
Updated: 2019-07-07
Packaged: 2020-06-23 19:22:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19707847
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reigningqueenofwords/pseuds/reigningqueenofwords
Summary: Request: @crowleyshellonheels You should do a fic where Crowley and the reader had a bad break up like the angst part and he finds her nearly dead on a hunt with the boys but cas is there to fix her and he just opens up not caring in front of the boys how much he missed her and suchA/N: Two songs came on while writing this that were damn near perfect. They were Trying Not to Love You and I Told You So. :)





	Trying Not to Love You

**Author's Note:**

> Request: @crowleyshellonheels You should do a fic where Crowley and the reader had a bad break up like the angst part and he finds her nearly dead on a hunt with the boys but cas is there to fix her and he just opens up not caring in front of the boys how much he missed her and such  
> A/N: Two songs came on while writing this that were damn near perfect. They were Trying Not to Love You and I Told You So. :)

“What the _hell_ is wrong with you?” You screamed. “They’re my friends!” Once again, you and your boyfriend were fighting over you hunting with the Winchesters.

He glared at you. “Have you _ever_ noticed that they cause all our problems?” He snapped.

You licked your lips, crossing your arms over your chest. “You sure it’s not you being a _prick_?” He knew you had one hell of a temper, and he still pushed your buttons.

“Fine. You want to go off with those two morons into the sunset. Go. We’re _through_.” He growled, making your eyes go wide. “Go on. Go running to them. I’m sure that you’ll be over me in no time. Pleased to be rid of the ‘prick’.” 

Swallowing, you grabbed the closest thing to you- a picture frame with a picture of the two of you in it- and threw it at him. He ducked and it hit the wall, shattering. “Run away, then, Crowley.” You spat. “Pretend that you’re a black hearted bastard.” You were fighting tears. You loved him, you did, but you wouldn’t let him see you broken. “Send me to the bunker, _asshole_.” You demanded, turning your back to him.

He narrowed his eyes. “Good riddance.” He muttered, snapping his fingers.

When you landed in your room in the bunker, you let yourself go. Your knees buckled out from underneath your, you buried your face in your hands, and you sobbed. Being with him had been a huge risk. You were a hunter. He was the King of Hell. You didn’t care. You threw caution to the wind, not a care in the world to what others thought. The boys hadn’t liked it, and kept saying that he was using you. Not once did he show that he cared about you around others. That was something between just the two of you.

* * *

“Can’t you call Crowley?” Dean asked as the three of you researched your current case. You had failed to mention your breakup to them. How they hadn’t noticed how you would flinch at his name, or your jaw would clench when they would mention something that they had discussed.

You thought of the quickest line you could. “He’s _busy_.” You muttered.

Sam raised an eyebrow at you. “He’s _always_ busy. He’s the King of Hell. You’re telling me your boyfriend couldn’t spare a few minutes to help his girlfriend on a case?” He asked, skeptical.

“Drop it, Sam.” You snapped.

“Sorry.” He shook his head.

Sighing, you rubbed your temples. “No, Sam, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have snapped at you. This case is just stressing me out.” You lied.

“Why don’t you go get some rest? It’s getting late.” Dean suggested, knowing that the more tired you got, the less help you would be.

You gave him a weak smile and got up, making your way to your motel room. Shutting the door quietly, you broke down again. It had only been a couple weeks since the last time you spoke to Crowley. It was still a fresh wound. All you wanted was to get this pain over with, a way to channel all your emotions into something constructive.

Taking a deep breath, you crawled into bed, trying to push all thoughts of the King from your mind.

* * *

You jerked awake to knocking on your door. “Wake up!” It was Sam. Looking at the clock, you groaned. Damn him and his early morning perkiness.

Throwing your blankets back, you shuffled over to the door and opened it. “Yes?” You yawned.

“Have you been _crying_?” He asked, worried.

“What is it?” You asked. “What’s up with the case?”

Sam sighed, knowing that you wouldn’t give in. “There’s an old factory on the outskirts of town. Pretty run down. Kids use it to party. Seems like that’s where our vamps have been hiding out. We leave in an hour.” He gave you a sympathetic smile before walking back to their room.

Running your hand through your hair, you shut the door. Hopefully this would help you get your anger out. Stretching, you moved over to your bag, grabbing some jeans and a shirt. You yawned as you got undressed. Hopefully they stopped for coffee, or an energy drink. Something. You slept all night, and you felt like you slept maybe an hour.

Once you were dressed, you went and knocked on their door. Dean opened it and looked shocked. “Did you stay up partying?” He asked.

“Screw you, too.” You glared. “I didn’t sleep well.” You shrugged, walking in.

“You _sure_ you’re okay to go do this?” Sam asked, giving you that adorable worried look.

You nodded. “Yeah. It’ll probably help. Wear me out so I can sleep.” You laughed.

* * *

Of course, you let your emotions cloud your judgement. You’d rushed in too soon. Within minutes, the whole nest knew that you were there. Before you knew what hit you, you were flying through the air. Your back hit a wall and you felt your ribs break. You groaned, forcing yourself to get up. It was killing you. You had tears fighting their way out, but you had a job to do.

You managed to behead two before another one stabbed you in the side. As your eyes moved to look at the vampire, his head fell to the side. Grabbing the knife, you slammed your eyes shut and pulled it out. “ _Fuck_.” You gasped, holding your hand over the gushing wound. Feeling a beam behind you, you slid down it, watching as the others took out more and more vampires.

One was able to sneak around them. She was very pretty…for a vampire. “Awe, little hunter got a boo boo?” She laughed, grabbing you by the neck and squeezing just enough that you were gasping for air. “Let me see the light leave your eyes. Or…should I turn you?” She mused. It took all your energy, but you pulled her hair, making her lose her grip for a moment, letting you suck in some air. “Oh, you _bitch_.” She snarled at you, before pulling her fist back and letting it collide with your face. You tasted your own blood. That salty, copper like taste. Your eyes were getting heavy, so you put your head back.

One second she was there, and then you closed your eyes. When you opened them, she was gone. “Come on, Y/N.” You heard Sam. “Dean!” He yelled, your head falling to his shoulder.

Dean came running. “Oh shit. CAS!” He yelled, hoping that it wasn’t one of those times that he would be ignored. “ _ **CAS**_!” He hollered.

“Yes?” He appeared, back to you.

“What the bloody hell _happened_?” You were surprised to hear Crowley’s voice. “I got told that you two bloody morons were going after a powerful nest. And of course, look what happened.” He was pissed.

Cas turned to finally see you. He knelt next to you. You slowly shook your head. “What?”

You coughed up some blood. “Don’t.” You choked on some blood. “Not worth it.”

He gave you that confused look. “You think you aren’t worth it?” You nodded slightly. That’s how you’d felt the past couple weeks. Worthless.

“Don’t heal me.” It came out weak, and wet. Your eyes felt heavy.

Crowley rushed over, Winchesters be damned. “Let him heal you, you stubborn girl!” He panicked. His hand cupped your cheek gently. “ _Please_.”

Your lidded eyes looked to him, full of hurt, and sadness. “Why?”

He could tell that in another minute, you’d be dead. “Because _I love you_. I was scared that hunting with them would get you killed. I was afraid that I’d lose you before we even really began our lives.” His eyes held so much passion that it was almost frightening. “Let him heal you, love. _Please_. I’ll do whatever I can to make it up to you.”

The boys stared at him. They had never heard him get even that close to begging before, and yet here he was. You gave a weak nod. “Good.” Cas touched your forehead just in time.

You gasped for air, chocking on it. There was still some blood in your mouth, so you spit it off to the side. As quick as you could, you wrapped your arms around Crowley’s neck, holding him tight. His arms snaked around your waist, as if he was afraid you’d vanish. Moving so you could look him in the eyes, you gave him a small smile. “You _better_ not be fucking with me, Crowley.” You told him.

“ _Never_ , my Queen.” He smiled, pulling you in for a loving kiss.


End file.
